"Untitled (Love Song)" - Counting Crows (The Romany Rye Cover)

Yup, pinned this one

"Don't stumble over something behind you."  One of the many "past is past" type quotes I have pinned to my Pinterest board (yup, I'm that girl).  But as much as I try to leave the past out of my present, there is always this one part.. (person) that I can't seem to let go of.  Said "past", was actually one of the reasons I started this blog.  I figured if I wrote it down, I could leave it there and move past it. 
The story began many moons ago at a local dive bar.  I was young and drunk (winning combo), took one look at the dark, tattooed guy on stage and fell in love. The first night I met him we drunkenly danced to "Don't Stop Believing" and I kissed him on the mouth goodbye.  I didn't really believe in love at first sight, or soul mates,  but I know now, that these fairy tale type ideals can exist.  I spent the better part of two years absolutely in love with this entirely inappropriate guy, who was too old, tattooed, pierced and full of baggage for a young bird like me. I followed him, lovestruck, to every gig, at every dive bar in the city.For our first year together,I slept like a dream on a mattress on the floor of his very small rented room. Everything ordinary became extraordinary, and nothing really mattered as long as I was with him. Eventually, as most good things do, we came to an end.  There were important parts about our future together that we couldn't agree on.  

Is this as good as it gets?

To say that I took our break-up hard was an understatement. It seemed like no amount of booze, guys or tattoos could make me feel better.  Years passed and I moved on, dated other people, cared about them and even loved a few.  Eventually the pain subsided and the wound became more like a scar.  From time to time I'd think about us, just to check how much it hurt, like how you can't resist picking at a scab to see if it's healed yet.  I wonder if it was as good as I remember, or if memories are always sweeter than reality.  Ala Jack Nicholson, I ask myself, was that "as good as it gets?"

This weekend I was at another local dive bar (In our drunken haze we decided we needed to ride an electronic bull), still fairly young-ish, definitely just as drunk.  I was dancing like a cow to Whitesnake's, "Here I go Again", and laughing at the cover band dressed up like various rock stars,  when I realized that the Dee Snider lookalike was my ex-boyfriend.  My "scar" ripped open and my heart  broke into a million pieces.  Talking to him after the show, I willed my older, wiser self to feel no attraction to this guy dressed in a blonde wig, full face make-up and leather pants.  When I said goodbye and kissed him on the mouth, it was every bit like the first time we met six years ago.  It felt like a bad romantic movie with all of the heartache expected and no happy ending.  There was no reunion or reconciliation,  just the sad realization that the things that couldn't be changed all of those years ago, still couldn't be.  Now I have felt fifty shades of f*cked up all weekend and been listening to "Untitled (Love Song)" by Counting Crows like it's the theme song to the ending credits of my shitty movie I call life.  

It seemed appropriate to write about this song, even though this is the FIRST time I've blogged about an artist more than once.The song was originally written by an indie-folk,obscure band from California called The Romany Rye (which I found out after the fact). The Romany Rye is one of the 16 bands that competed in the Rolling Stone "Do You Wanna Be A Rock & Roll Star?" competition. They eventually lost out to The Sheepdogs,  but they did get "Untitled (Love Song)" covered by one of the most talented male vocalists in my opinion (Adam Duritz).  The song epitomizes uncertain love with killer lyrics like, "cloudy thoughts against a clear blue sky, When the feeling came, I felt like getting high."   Both versions of the song are great but nobody does pain better than Duritz. I'll keep it on repeat while I sit and think, waiting for my scar to heal back up.  




If tonight’s the night, then today’s my day
That I should hang it all on display.
Yours was just a losing game,
And I decided that I should play.

Throw your arms around my neck,
I won’t be soon to forget.
Throw your arms around my neck,
I won’t be soon to forget.

Felt the wind’s direction beginning to change.
Clouds so softly full of rain.
The Summer fell and the Winter sprang.
Now it’s all a feeling I can’t get back again.

Throw your arms around my neck,
I won’t be soon to forget.
Throw your arms around my neck,
I won’t be soon to forget.

Cloudy thoughts against a clear blue sky.
When the feeling came, I felt like getting high,
With no sense to try to find my peace of mind.
‘Cause maybe I was born to win, dissatisfied.

Throw your arms around my neck,
I won’t be soon to forget.
Throw your arms around my neck,
I won’t be soon to forget.

Throw your arms around my neck,
I won’t be soon to forget.
Throw your arms around my neck,
I won’t be soon to forget.